Silent No More: Chuck

This is the story of Chuck, who spoke as a member of Silent No More Minnesota at the state capitol in January 2005. When he and his partner aborted their baby years ago, Chuck didn't see it as a big deal, because abortion was so common and socially acceptable. It wasn't until years later, upon having children, that Chuck began to understand the lost potential of that unborn life. Of course, he now regrets the decision to abort.

Click to hear Chuck's story

Transcript:

My name is Chuck. It is impossible to spend any length of time with a child and not find yourself spellbound. You may be amazed at their intelligence and curiosity, perhaps humbled by their honest affection, or just swept away in watching them grow. I know this because I am now fortunate enough to experience these things on a daily basis with my children.

Many years ago, I gave up an opportunity to experience these things, because a previous partner and I opted to terminate a pregnancy we were faced with as very young people. We were afraid of the social stigma, the reaction of our families, and the overwhelming time and economic obligation that having a baby at that point in our lives would entail.

What we did not consider was what we would be giving up. We did not consider the full implication of ending a life before it had a chance to flourish. We did not consider the lost joy of watching him or her grow and be a part of this world. We rationalized our decision based solely on the self-centered considerations and consoled ourselves with the fact that since the option to abort the pregnancy was easily available and many people were doing it, then perhaps it was no big deal.

We were wrong. We didn't admit it at the time. I didn't fully realize it until many years later. Long after that relationship had passed and others had replaced it, I don't think I fully understood the significance until I did have children. It is impossible to watch my children as they grow now and not wonder about what I gave up back then. It is impossible not to grieve the loss of a child I never got to know.

I want to make others aware of this price and encourage them to think, not only about their current situation, but about what they will have to deal with in the future before they decide to abort a pregnancy. That is why I am Silent No More.

Chuck's story is given here with the permission of Silent No More Minnesota. To obtain a copy, please contact SNMM and consider donating to their cause. Their message is powerful and one that more women need to hear before they have an abortion.

Contact info
Website: http://www.silentnomoremn.org/
Phone: 763-536-8800
Email: annmarie@silentnomoremn.org


Previous:

Silent No More: Deb

Silent No More: Colleen

Silent No More: Tina

Silent No More: Valerie

But what about the women?

Not a fluke

Earlier this week, I noted the Gallup poll finding a majority of Americans condsidering themselves Pro-Life. Since then, three others (Rasmussen, Pew, and Fox News) have confirmed the trend.

To those beginning to see the light, welcome. Keep spreading the word, fellow Pro-Lifers!

Thanks, Governor

Americans United for Life is acknowledging Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty for signing into law SF 2083, a bill that prohibits use of state funds for human cloning.

AUL encourages you to follow this link to send Gov. Pawlenty a note of 'thank you' for standing up for life and human dignity.

Silent No More: Deb

This is the story of Deb, who spoke as a member of Silent No More Minnesota at the state capitol in January 2005. Deb kept her abortion a secret from her family for twenty five years, and because of that, now she mourns not only the loss of her baby, but also the loss all those years to loneliness and depression.

Click to hear Deb's story

Transcript:

Hello. My name is Deb, and I'm speaking to you today, because twenty six years ago I'd had an abortion, and I wish somebody at that time would have told me that I would someday deeply regret this decision. I was raised in a good Catholic home, the youngest of four kids. I was a quiet kid and mostly went along after the flow. After high school, I started having sex, which also was acceptable behavior in the '70s. This, however, brought down my self esteem, and I though the only way to be accepted was through drinking, pot, and sex.

When I was twenty three, I had just broke off a relationship with a boyfriend, and I was so down, I ended up pregnant with a one-night stand, a total stranger. I was very scared at the prospect of being a single mother and wondered how could I tell my family. My sister was happily pregnant after having a difficult time getting pregnant. My pregnancy would have just brought her down. I didn't want to do that.

As the youngest sibling, I saw how my older siblings had hurt my parents, and I was the good kid. How could I tell them about this? I never wanted them to know. I’m sorry to say that I also saw them be there for all of us and did not trust that. Yes, they would have grieved over the pregnancy, and I know now they also would have been there for me.

I went to the St. Paul Health Clinic to confirm the pregnancy, and the woman asked what I wanted to do. In tears, I said, "An abortion, I guess." She gave me the number to the clinic. She did not offer any empathy or counseling. A friend I confided in stated that the abortion would have the least impact on my life. I know her advice was out of friendship and love. She would not have known, like myself, that it would have the most negative impact on my life.

I also told the ex-boyfriend about the pregnancy, and, thinking it was his, he helped me pay for the abortion and drove me to the clinic. He had hurt me, and I wanted to get back at him. But once the lie was told, I was afraid to back out. I do not remember much about the abortion except the cramping at the time and was told it was just tissue and that I would be able to have children later on. I believed these lies.

On the way home, the ex-boyfriend and I were pretty silent. He just went home, and I saw him a couple of times with friends but we lost contact, and he still does not know the truth.

The years after the abortion, I never felt I fit anywhere. My dream was always to be married and to have children. Relationships with men never seemed to work out. Although I stayed pretty involved with my nieces and nephews, and even foster-cared for two of them, I still wanted children of my own.

When I was thirty eight, feeling the impact of no child, I asked a boyfriend at the time if he'd like a baby. I did not want to marry him, but my need for an atonement child was huge, even outside of marriage. His answer was not using contraception. I ended up pregnant, believing that I would have a December baby, like myself. I ended up with a miscarriage the Friday before Mother's Day. I remember saying to God, "I killed one baby. Now you did. Are we even?" But I felt no peace.

For six years, I fought depression, especially in December. That would have been the time my baby boy would have been born and reminded me I was running out of time to have children. I remember on my forty fifth birthday crying out, "Who would care if I was dead?" I had no purpose. Who would miss me if I was gone? I knew I couldn't go through this depression again. I needed counseling or I'd go on antidepressants, whatever it took.

That January, I started going to church. I remember sitting through a service on forgiveness, crying the whole time, wondering how Christ could forgive me. I could not even forgive myself. The guilt and shame I felt over the years were unbearable. I thought abortion was the unforgivable sin. The church was offering an "Alpha: An Introduction to Christ" group in the fall, and I thought that could be a tool for me. Forgiveness was one of the topics.

I finally found the forgiveness I needed on that Holy Spirit day. Thankfully, Christ became my counselor, and the Holy Spirit my antidepressant. That year, I had the most blessed and peaceful Christmas, but in January, I realized I wanted to mourn the loss of my aborted child. At church, I picked up a brochure, wanting an address from it. The next day, I finally looked at the brochure and found out it was for a post-abortion healing group. I didn't even know these groups existed. I called, and they had an opening left. I knew God was telling me I needed to go and be healed.

I went through the group and was able to share with other women and learn why I always felt alone most of my adult life. I learned that the baby was not the sin. The abortion and everything related to it, the sex outside of marriage and the lies and deceit was. With God at my side, I was able to heal the pain and the grief and mourn the loss of both my children. I found total forgiveness. After twenty five years, I was finally able to tell my parents, and guess what? They grieved for me, they forgave me, they are very loving and supportive, and they are here now. This has taught me to trust in them and the Lord even more. I am now forty nine without a child of my own to hold in my arms, but because of the promise of Christ, I feel I now belong. I have purpose, and mostly I am a beloved child of God.

I'll always regret the choice to abort my baby, but Christ has given me the hope that one day, I will hold my precious Megan and David in heaven. Please know that you can receive this healing through Christ, and this is why I am Silent No More. Thank you.

Deb's story is given here with the permission of Silent No More Minnesota. To obtain a copy, please contact SNMM and consider donating to their cause. Their message is powerful and one that more women need to hear before they have an abortion.

Contact info
Website: http://www.silentnomoremn.org/
Phone: 763-536-8800
Email: annmarie@silentnomoremn.org


Previous:

Silent No More: Colleen

Silent No More: Tina

Silent No More: Valerie

But what about the women?

This is huge!

As we see the controversy swirl around President's Obama being invited to commencement ceremonies at Notre Dame, this bit of good news should encourage us that we are slowly, but surely, changing hearts and minds toward acknowledging the right to life of the unborn.

This Gallup poll finds, for the first time, that the majority of Americans now consider themselves "Pro-Life" (51% - 42%).



Another important result is the number of Americans believing abortion should be either highly restricted or entirely illegal has increased in 2009 (60%) over 2008 (57%).



Gallup's "Bottom Line" from the poll results:

With the first pro-choice president in eight years already making changes to the nation's policies on funding abortion overseas, expressing his support for the Freedom of Choice Act, and moving toward rescinding federal job protections for medical workers who refuse to participate in abortion procedures, Americans -- and, in particular, Republicans -- seem to be taking a step back from the pro-choice position. However, the retreat is evident among political moderates as well as conservatives.

It is possible that, through his abortion policies, Obama has pushed the public's understanding of what it means to be "pro-choice" slightly to the left, politically. While Democrats may support that, as they generally support everything Obama is doing as president, it may be driving others in the opposite direction.

As the Left continues down an increasingly radical path in its pro-abortion agenda, reasonable people will push back if they are educated, and that's where we come in. Keep up the fight, folks. In today's political climate, we won't be winning any major legislative battles anytime soon, so a persistent information campaign is our next best option.

Tell the truth, and spread the word.

Imagine the potential

Silent No More: Colleen

This is the story of Colleen, who spoke as a member of Silent No More Minnesota at the state capitol in January 2005. Colleen's abortions nearly destroyed her life before she eventually found redemption. Then, when giving birth, Colleen sufferred from medical complications caused from the previous abortions. Naturally, she was not warned about these risks by her abortion provider.

Click to hear Colleen's story

Transcript:

Good afternoon. My name is Colleen [last name redacted]. I'm the Director of Metro Women's Center at Crisis Pregnancy Center here in the Twin Cities area. I've been in that position for fifteen years. But mostly today, I'm here today to speak to you because when I was eighteen years, old I became pregnant and I had an abortion.

I always thought that abortion was wrong, because it took the life of a child. Yet when faced with the reality of a pregnancy myself, I abandoned my position and made arrangements to have an abortion. When I entered the abortion clinic, I was taken to a small room, where I undressed and lay on the exam table. I was very afraid, but I was more afraid of leaving the clinic without having the abortion done. A part of me died that day. It went away through the suction tubing that removed the child from my womb.

After the abortion, drug and alcohol abuse became common for me. In a few months, I was pregnant again. I quickly made an abortion appointment, and this time I did not cry. I tried to think of something to distract me from the pulling and the tugging going on inside my womb. I couldn't wait to get drunk, so I could numb my sense of loss and guilt.

I soon experienced a third pregnancy and another abortion. Like many women, each time I aborted a child, I felt a surge of relief. But I had wrongly assumed that abortion would solve my problems, but things just got worse. My life continued to spiral downward, and I became pregnant again. By this time, I had become suicidal. I searched the Yellow Pages for help, and I finally called a pregnancy help center for assistance. I decided to face this pregnancy, and I soon delivered a beautiful baby, and placed this precious new life into the arms of his adoptive mother.

I was not told that one of the medical risks from abortion was that scar tissue could form inside the womb. Shortly after delivering my son, I hemorrhaged, because by uterus had so much scar tissue inside it due to the abortions. I required a transfusion to stabilize my situation.

For many years after that, I tried to avoid the reality that my abortions had taken the lives of three of my children. There came a time when I could not avoid the truth any longer. I needed to face the deaths of my children. I stopped denying that I had sinned against God, and I realized that my guilt I was experiencing was ruining my life. I found help through a post-abortion ministry, and I began to consider how abortion had devastated my life. Through my healing, I found that God is a god of forgiveness and mercy, and that through my relationship with Him, I have been forgiven and set free of the guilt and the shame of abortion. Once I repented of my abortions and humbled myself before Him, I truly began to heal.

If you have had an abortion, I want you to know that you do not need to remain a victim of your choice. There is hope and healing in the Lord. By acknowledging your personal responsibility for your abortion, healing can begin. By acknowledging the reality that abortion took an innocent life and by asking God for his forgiveness, you can be set free from the bondage of guilt and shame. Through post-abortion ministry, you can find compassion and help to work through abortion’s negative impact on your life.

The most important thing about abortion I think everyone needs to know is that abortion is not an eraser. It may make you un-pregnant, but it makes you the mother of a dead baby. Abortion always affects people emotionally, physically, and spiritually on some level, whether society is willing to acknowledge it or not. Abortion causes a loss, and its consequences simmer beneath the surface of the lives of the abortive people that are here today -- abortive people like you and like me. Abortion negatively affects our peace of mind and our well being. If you are in need of healing from abortion, get help today. You can stop being spiritually and emotionally victimized by your choice. You do not need to remain silent anymore.

Colleen's story is given here with the permission of Silent No More Minnesota. To obtain a copy, please contact SNMM and consider donating to their cause. Their message is powerful and one that more women need to hear before they have an abortion.

Contact info
Website: http://www.silentnomoremn.org/
Phone: 763-536-8800
Email: annmarie@silentnomoremn.org


Previous:

Silent No More: Tina

Silent No More: Valerie

But what about the women?

Silent No More: Tina

This is the story of Tina, who spoke as a member of Silent No More Minnesota at the state capitol in January 2005. She already regretted the abortion she had as a teenager, but her regret became overwhelmingly clear years later, when she could feel the movement of a baby inside her.

Click to hear Tina's story

Transcript:

Hi. My name's Tina, and I'm here today, because twenty one years ago, I made the terrible and life-changing decision to abort my first child. It is my hope that by sharing my pain and regret that it will help someone else avoid a similar terrible choice.

It was the fall of 1984, and I had recently turned 17. I was in my senior year of high school and had my first steady boyfriend. It was late November when I first suspected I was pregnant. I didn't tell anyone, but I wrote it down in a journal I was keeping for English class. My mother accidentally came across my journal entry while browsing through my notebook.

As expected, my parents were shocked and disappointed in me. They took me to the doctor, who confirmed that I was indeed pregnant. The doctor suggested an abortion. I remember feeling very detached, like he was talking about someone else. This couldn't be happening. I didn't know what to do. I do know that I desperately wanted my life back to normal, and I wanted the look of disappointment to disappear from my parents’ eyes.

So I made an appointment for an abortion on December 28th. There's a lot I don't remember about that day, but what does stand out is the clinic counselor. She didn't counsel me at all. She did fuel the already raging fire of fear and doubt. She agreed with me that I was far too young to think about becoming a parent, and she reminded me that I had no way to support a child. She assured me that my life would return to normal, that it would be like this had never happened.

She lied. You cannot take the life of your child and go on like it never happened. I tried to pretend that everything was fine, but it wasn't. I couldn't concentrate at school, and eventually dropped out. I broke up with my boyfriend, the father of the child, and starting living a very destructive and promiscuous lifestyle.

I couldn't be around pregnant women or babies. I felt like I was contaminated and I would somehow taint them. I couldn't go to church, because I was certain that God was disgusted with me. How could he love me when I couldn't even stand myself?

Three years later, I met and married my husband, and in 1990 became pregnant with our first child. I had already started to realize and accept that my decision to abort my first child was a mistake and was trying to accept the fact that God still loved me and could forgive me.

The final event that convinced me once and for all that my choice had been the wrong one was the day I felt my daughter move for the first time. That was the single most wonderful and horrifying moment in my life. I was filled with joy and awe, at the same time with dread and regret, because it was at that moment that I fully realized what I had done.

I fell on my knees and begged God to forgive me, and He has. He also gave me the words and the courage necessary to be here today. God didn't make this happen to me, but He did allow it, and I believe that it was so I could be here for such a time as this. So I could speak out and tell everyone who will listen that abortion isn't the answer, and it doesn't solve any problems. It just creates new ones. And that is why I am Silent No More.

Tina's story is given here with the permission of Silent No More Minnesota. To obtain a copy, please contact SNMM and consider donating to their cause. Their message is powerful and one that more women need to hear before they have an abortion.

Contact info
Website: http://www.silentnomoremn.org/
Phone: 763-536-8800
Email: annmarie@silentnomoremn.org


Previous:

Silent No More: Valerie

But what about the women?

Happy Mother's Day

Here's an uplifting story to honor the day. The subject of this photo...



...is now old enough to understand the impact his first baby picture has had.

On Aug. 19, 1999, photographer Michael Clancy shot the "Fetal Hand Grasp" — his picture of a 21-week-old fetus grasping a doctor's finger during innovative surgery to correct spina bifida. Nearly four months later, on Dec. 2, Samuel Armas was "born famous...."

Samuel, now 9 and living in Villa Rica, Ga., said the photo likely gave countless "babies their right to live" and forced many others to debate their beliefs on abortion, something he's proud of.

"It's very important to me," Samuel said of the photograph. "A lot of babies would've lost their lives if that didn't happen."

Julie Armas, Samuel's mother, said her eldest son has a "very strong sense of right and wrong" and understands the impact of his unconventional first baby photo.

"He identifies it more in terms of a pro-life message more than anything," she told FOXNews.com. "This photo happened and God used it to show people that this baby in mom's tummy is alive. He's pleased that his photo conveyed that message."

Samuel sounds like a smart young man. I'll bet his mom is very proud of him today.

Silent No More: Valerie

This is the story of Valerie, who spoke as a member of Silent No More Minnesota at the state capitol in January 2005. As she tells it, the abortion provider actually took Valerie's "choice" away from her along with her baby.

Click to hear Valerie's story

Transcript:

My name is Valerie. I stand here because twenty five years ago, I made the wrong choice, and then I didn’t get a choice. And that is why I am speaking out, so that others who are thinking about abortion will not make the same mistake.

Going into the abortion clinic, I allowed myself to be put into a position of my choice being taken away. After the IV was in place, I began to cry. I changed my mind about having the abortion. The nurse ran out. The doctor came in in a consoling manner and said, "It will be all over soon," and he injected something into the IV tube.

When I woke from the suction D&C, I was sobbing. They tried to tell me it was the anesthesia, but I knew it was because I had murdered my baby in what should have been the safest place in the world -- my womb.

I ended up with a staph infection from the "safe and simple procedure" that led me to hemorrhage and in and out of the hospital. Then, eleven months later, they had to take my uterus, because of the chronic pain and bleeding. I was only twenty four.

I found the forgiving grace of God. I still mourn the loss of my baby. I'll look up to heaven, and I'll ask Jesus to hold my baby and to kiss my baby. I ask God to comfort me. The hardest thing has been to forgive myself, and still the healing goes on. And that is why I am Silent No More.

Valerie's story is given here with the permission of Silent No More Minnesota. To obtain a copy, please contact SNMM and consider donating to their cause. Their message is powerful and one that more women need to hear before they have an abortion.

Contact info
Website: http://www.silentnomoremn.org/
Phone: 763-536-8800
Email: annmarie@silentnomoremn.org

But what about the women?

In the grand life/choice debate, the focus is typically on the unborn child -- when life begins, when a baby becomes viable, when a baby starts to feel pain, etc. When the discussion turns to the well-being of the pregnant woman, though, the arguments can get muddied.

When a woman has a pregnancy that is unwanted, whether because of her age, her financial situation, or, God forbid, because it occurred through rape or incest, the default assumption is that abortion provides a net benefit to the woman. It "takes care of the problem."

Even pro-lifers will often cede that premise, arguing that yes, the woman benefits from the abortion, but that benefit does not outweigh the loss of the unborn baby's life. Let's take a step back, though, and examine this "benefit" to the woman.

Back in January, when I posted about the MCCL March for Life at the Capitol in St. Paul, I wrote about how moved I was by the presentation that followed in the Rotunda by Silent No More Minnesota. About a dozen or so women (and men, too -- don't forget that each aborted baby also has a father) told the stories of their lives during and after their abortions.

These brave women told us what Planned Parenthood won't. Abortion is not a simple, innocuous procedure. It's not like removing a hangnail. These women experienced complications ranging from hemorrhage to infection to the inability to conceive again. They told us about the crying rooms at the abortion clinic; they told us about how lost and alone they felt after being told to leave through the back door; they told us about the cycle of destructive behavior to which their abortion led; and they told us about the devastating, long-lasting emotional impact they suffered when they came to terms with the fact that they had killed their own baby.

These speeches were incredibly powerful, and I had hoped to share the audio with you, but the quality of my recording was poor. Fortunately, Silent No More Minnesota made a good recording of a similar presentation from four years ago. Ann Marie Cosgrove, president and founder of SNMM, was gracious enough to send me a copy of the CD, and she has generously granted permission to share these recordings with you. Over the coming weeks, I will post links to these recorded speeches and provide transcripts so that you can see and hear for yourself how destructive abortion has been to the lives of not just the babies, but also the mothers.

Please stay tuned...

Seeing is believing

In the ongoing battle to change hearts and minds about the worth of unborn human life, ultrasound machines at pregnancy centers are a vitally important tool. I can speak from personal experience on this -- when I saw the first ultrasound images of my first daughter (at 10 weeks), it changed my life and my perspective forever.

It was truly a moment of clarity. That was not a lump of tissue I was looking at -- that was my little girl!

Happily, the state legislature in Texas has recognized the power these ultrasound images hold. They have proposed a law that allows (but does not force) a woman considering abortion to see an image of her baby before making her decision.

Austin, TX (LifeNews.com) -- The Texas state Senate on Thursday gave initial approval to a bill that would allow women a chance to see an ultrasound of their unborn baby prior to an abortion. Some sixteen states have such laws on the books that pro-life advocates hope will help lower the number of abortions further.

The bills enjoy strong backing because ultrasounds have helped women understand the humanity of their unborn child.

When used in pregnancy centers they persuade as many as 80 percent of women considering an abortion to seek life-affirming alternatives.

This is the type of legislation that should be welcomed by pro-choice and pro-life advocates alike. We all want women's choices to be informed ones, right? Especially when the decision is this important.